Nur Zakuan
writing to a non-audience pleases me.
August 2007 September 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009
okla. fair trade im also cookin tomorrow, which i love to do okla. im happy. now.. to sneak outa this office without skippin out la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaago my legsme is so super duperly lazy to workit feels like a fridayand its my birthday tomorrow :Dwas sulkin a bit cos me moms not gona be aroundshe's on holiday. a loooooooong holidaybut i get to
its funny how the littlest, most random things can make u grin like a monkey err yeah. on other matters, need to shop 4 groceries 2 cook next week :D AND... tonite is friday yooooooooo. i havent felt this pumped up on a friday nite in ages rawrrrrrrrrr
i know someone once made a comment abt how emo i was
well guess what. yes i am. and no im not afraid to admit it.
and if showing my emotions denotes a sign of weakness then,
let me ask you my friend. which of these are you - a human , or a robot?
admittedly, there are a few robots amongst us today.
i know of one personally. very personally.
oh, the ability to completely separate the mind from the heart
i do not envy thee
on other matters
im slightly annoyed with a rather grey area at work
i sometimes detest the fact that my job is essentially ..
a whole buncha grey area with an even grey-er title
"Business Administration Co-ordinator"
wtf right
i know
-_-
reminds me of
"Domestic Engineer" or... "Guest Relations Officer"
ok fine. i take the latter back
*yech*
so just cos im lil miss grey-area at work
what makes you think im gona sit here & accept all YOUR
work on top of my own?
trust me. theres a lotta grey in my role
i may be young. i may be new (still)
BUT....
i will not be bullied
go take care of your own shit
trust me
iv got tonsa my own
n dear god. im not even speakin on a personal level
la la la
shit shit shit
*grins*
i just have one thing to say
no.. scrap that
two things to say
#1 you make me sick to the stomach (cos i know its not the cafe latte i just had)
#2 why does the weather affect a person's mood as much as it does
im gonna go bug bianca at b1
the purging
not to be taken literally aye
(facebook pirate's english does fascinate me so. trashy is the bombs)
to expel all items, tangible & non tangible
from my sight & care
out of sight, out of mind
its not the best way, but its easier than having to be constantly reminded of something that's best to put behind you
and so i rebuild & store away
at the back of my mind
where it all belongs
some say i should do the same with my room
yeah. i'll get to it
soon enough
its amazing how some people can go about their daily lives
and not realise the extent that their actions have on other people
they just la-di-da around, completely oblivious
discounting every remark, comment, look, action that they casually dispense
just because it is nothing to them
hence, why would it be anything to someone else?
wrong
someone in my past once wondered the same
someone in my very recent past followed suit
to the 2 of you
may you someday see
that you have affected me
and though i may not say that it's for the worse
but everyone crosses your path for a reason
everything shapes you
everything does happen for a reason
im gettin that on me
soon, i hope
i know 2 words
from 2 ends of a spectrum
between 2 people
today
one of kindness and joy and warm to the heart
the other just foul and black to the soul
how far apart they may seem to be
how vastly different their meanings be
then something happens
and neighbors they've become
for today i skipped over from one to one
don't say i never warned you
for i can only hate, as much as i did love
7 days, 6 nights
and so much has changed
first the mind, then the heart
and everything will follow suit
sometimes the hardest things are the best things
and when a huge pile of shit lands on u
all the lil bits fade in comparison
numb
unfazed
rebuilding
would be my answer
so don't ask
thats what i've been trying to tell myselfthe mind controls alland i control my mindan idle mind is no man's friendso much to do, yet none of which i am doingi feel sick in the stomachsave me from myself
theres somewhere that i write. when theres nowhere else to go. nothing else to do. where no one knows who i am. where no one will ever reach. i wrote there today. im there again.the pieces lay at my feet. i am the walking dead.why did it have to come so soon?why did it.. have to come at all ?for those who know where i wrote. u can go there.i wish i didnt have to write there again. but i did.forgive me if i disappear. sometimes even the strongest walls can be crumbled by just one crack. ... in the right spot
one of them damned weeks where everything goes wrong
everything feels wrong
so much is going on
long & hard
in every conceivable way
and it just wont bloody end
that is exactly how this week has been to me
goddammittttt...
end already wont u??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
i will write in point form
1) Nur vs Nur
2) Moving of office cubicle
3) No telephone in new cubicle
4) PC fuckin up. but cant call helpdesk cos - refer to point 3)
5) have too much bloody work coming in from one too many reporting lines
6) am broke cos i just bought a new pc & a coupla plane tickets on my credit card
7) havent paid my credit card bill yet
8) still owe mom money for old credit card bills
in short
everything is changing.
i cant keep up
gah. wake me up from this nightmare . someone please