hurt, i mean

when i found out that i was the last (or close to that) to know

i know it wasn't intentional
i know you didn't mean for it to come out that way

but when it's about something as important as that

fact remains

it still hurts...

randomly goin thru some old emails in my personal inbox

1. jobless


2. on holiday in London w mom & baby sister


3. exchanging emails with someone so wrong

its funny really. to see how much a person can change within that period of time.

lookin back. i can't imagine how i said/wrote/felt like that. it almost felt like it wasn't me.

it was so wrong. it was funny.

but hey, everything happens for a reason. especially those mistakes.

for if there weren't any boo boos to learn from, how would we distinguish the rubbish from the good shiet?

woo hoo!

mira likes to say

"good riddance to bad rubbish"

i totally agree shorty!

a lotta things, really

• id be this size at age 25 read: WAAAAAY bigger than that unimaginably skinny,short kid that i once was
• doin everything i said i would never do. read: work 9-5 job, sit in front of pc all day, in an IT company
• my current *ahem* lifestyle choices
• id be best mates with some ppl whom i hardly said 2 words to, or pretty much despised in my younger days

so much can happen in such a short time. a few weeks can feel like forever. 3 years ago felt like it never happened.

"u gotta take that stick outta your arse n let ppl in. not everyone u let in is gonna hurt u"

nur + multiple jugs/shots @ loft one friday nite

that one line broke the ice

that one line , i am swallowing right now

said back to me by the same person whom i said it to

ah life!

so yes. the stick. im reachin backward now.

if only ud tug on it, id let u dislodge it

kitteeeeeeeeeens !

my twin changed her rship status on FB

stupid act for the day

was so sleepy+absent minded + outa it today once again
went to the loo
walked out with my belt undone
realised my mistake 20 mins later
after my 5mile hike to Wisma 3
shyness

off the top of my head
these are the definitions of all the 'pullin' a's that i can think of

pullin a ...

Bianca - intending to go out.taking a nap. then waking up at 3am after the partys over
Mira - being unnaturally clumsy or blur Eg:- "huh??"
Nell - being all manja/girly when drunk
Adeline - go all talkative/long-winded
Trish - "oh..so kiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut" / go crazy over ANYTHING to do with bunnies
Diana KPP - to be all konon macho, but all soft on the inside,aww
Nur - falling asleep at the dinner/supper table.or anywhere for that matter

mala-la-la-las to work
bah!

random outings on a random sunday
the word random along with all it's properties is fast becoming a consistent part of my daily life.
as ironic as that may sound


anyhow. i do believe that the best things do happen out of pure randomness

expectations = O
possibilities = endless


i dropped by the annexe today. it's always been a place iv wanted to spend time at more, but somehow never got down to. plus theres always so much goin on in town, the drive & parking situation there always seemed to sway me actually hauling my ass down there.


this sunday was different


woke up feeling like a tightrope walker could prance around with no fear , as if that apparatus was already strung thru my spine.

the reason
when i was playin with ninja turtles
he was doin this



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d33-HgdZbI

n dear god. 18 years later.
his name alone shakes the stage he walks on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0nRpFI4hvc&feature=related

(Read: Wade Robson. THE dance choreographer of this day & age)

2 hours. non-stop. it was H.O.T.

2 thoughts after

DAYUMN that felt good
DAYUMN me for not doin this for so long. i gota get dancin again


as for today

strolled into a random gallery today
bumped into a random friend
stayed on for a randomly appropriate art discussion
where random but very personal drawings, or scribbles in my case, were on show
and to top it all off...

i got this photo





they didn't know each other
but randomly ended up standin next to each other

abso-fuckin-lutely awesome

i also decided to get a wall in my room
so i can draw whatever,whenever i fckin want to
yeah

alien. is the direct translation for the term commonly used in japan for foreigners. gaijin.

iv always had this fascination for voices, accents, languages. regardless of the fact that iv got 5 years till my self-imposed deadline to speak 5 languages (3 down, 2 to go still -_-). it doesnt change the fact that i can honestly sit down somewhere & get absolutely engrossed in a conversation without really understanding a word.

where do the sentences end? those funny sounds are really words? the ups & downs of their sing-song voices.

even in english. the many different accents. its one language. but so dinstinctively different all at the same time. the usage of certain words. the construction of sentences. the expressions. the little pauses in between, whilst finding the right words. the little mistakes made, oh so innocently. its like watching a child speak at times.


it pulls me.


sometimes i wish i was invisible, so i could just sit down next to a group of people & just observe & listen. without making them feel uncomfortable. like a scientist observing his specimens in a natural habitat.

random thought

do unto others, how u would like others to do unto u

i dont like people asking me too many questions

so

i don't ask them many back

to me, its simple

if u want to tell me, then u will
but im not gona ask
its not that i dont want to know
i just... am really not that nosey

ok wait
maybe i am
but i keep it under wraps
haha

there it was. standing nice & proud.
right smack in the middle.of.my.shower.

NO, i'm not THAT lazy. grr

i...just.. *malu*

ok its like this

i ended my last post prematurely due to my.. frazzled nerves

there i was, doin my thang, bloggin in the middle of the night
roomie was asleep on her bed
everything is as it always is

*clink*

*head turns a bit too fast for this hour*

hmm.... stupid cicak, i think to myself

la la la
blog somemore

*shuffle shuffle clink*

o_0

PANIC

"beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. wake up, beeeeee"
"nur!?!?! wtf??! "

n thru her sleepy not so Chinese eyes, she found her way to the door with me to scope the situation

i tell her i heard something.
she says it's probably nothing
ooo. macho
until

*dush dush dush* *clink!*
RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR!

"aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Nah~~ tau takut!

followed by the taking action of my super genius "Let's show that someones awake & scare that intruder off"plan

step 1
switch on all lights in room

step 2
switch on music loud loud

step 3
prepare weapon
FUCK
i lent my paintball gun to a teammate
-_-
might as well have lent him my life along with it now, huh?

step 3.5
call someone! anyone! a MALE!
where the fucks my phone???
alamak. the other side of the room

*mad dash to retrieve phone*
so mad sampai i flipped over a cuppa orange juice that...

yes, that's right...
landed on the chair

n yada yada yada...
turns out the intruder was my crazy aunt who decided to go out at fckin 4 in the morning & stop my heart whilst shes at it
-_-

and the nite ended with me
giving my blue chair a shower cos of that god damned orange juice

ya i know

drama

*picture of chair to be uploaded at a later time*
camera which houses picture is currently in subang

is exactly how i would describe this past weekend
usually... after a weekend of this magnitude. no wait. this has been, by far, the most eventful weekend ever. all else fails in comparison. or rather, that's what i said the last time i had a thought along these lines. but they just keep getting... crazier

n when that happens. i can only think in random, disjointed words/phrases

so here i go

are u from assunta? . i won. bangria. i wanna hold your hand. beer diet. broken. again. drunken texts. grins. more grins. wholesale candy shopping. not the best way to get wet. rain. late. girl scout. party. crazy party. cccccrazzzzzy party. plastic bags & straws. whips + rulers. spanking. ketuk ketampi. scratches on the knee. bushes. pee. costumes. fckin sporting. KO. puke. sewing in the car. silent killer punch. shots. more shots. even more shots. beer thru straws. bOOze. hangover. futsukayoi. photos. falling. standin on chairs. marks. old schoolmates. quality vs quantity. pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. rainbow after the rain. confessions. fishing game(s). bingo. palate palette. rasta kueh. scrabble. big couches. intense with caps lock, bold, italic, underline.like throwin meat to the sharks. rubbing noses. drains. rescue me. fried red things. voice recognition tak guna. speed dials rock. friends instead of acquaintances. hearing board.big eggs in playgrounds. kl city skyline on a live tv. big huge doors. tiger beer. driving with the windows down. beaUtiful. fullstop.

oh fuck. i just heard something outside my room.
im waking bee up
pussy
that's me btw

i want to adopt a cat

u know it is
but u know what...
i don't care
im gona do it anyway

random thoughts in the morning
random nights just before

on another note
there is this thing
undeserving of a gender
whom id like to see
my fist upon its face
for putting one on her's'
a lowly creature indeed
i will find u ...

too many to choose from
and being the libra that i am

gahhhhhhh

so im just gona go with my instincts
n choose the one i feel the most connection with

*rawr*

its gona be awesome


note - tonite. frangipani. woohoo! who says 25 is too old to part-ay?!